I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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