Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
