I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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