You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
