The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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