I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
