He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
