I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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