yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize