Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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