i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize