Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
