just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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