Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize