just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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