maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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