I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
