so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
