I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
