Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
