I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's shark week go big or go home
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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