i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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