this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my shit smells like andre
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize