whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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