Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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