I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
