How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
