Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
