Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Say something about gay babies.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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