yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
