i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
