I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
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