should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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