so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
