I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
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Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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