During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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