It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
