I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
