do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
