Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
