Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
