I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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