So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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