she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
