She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
