"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
