hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
