I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
