I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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