We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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