That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
