What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
