She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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