Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I am one with the molecules
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
