its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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