it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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