New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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