there's paper in my vomit.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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