I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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