I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
