Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
