plz talk dirty to me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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